Monthly Archives: August 2006

Hell Yeah

In response to a comment on my earlier blog when I quit smoking cigarettes, and, just as a general update and fucking kudos to myself… Yes, Lauren is still a non-smoker. Fuck yeah, that’s right!

To top that off, I’m back to working out regularly. I finally cancelled my old gym membership in Alpharetta, and I joined a new, kick ass gym in Atlanta called Fitness Factory. It’s only been two weeks since I joined, but I’m back in the groove already.

Can I get a Hell Yeah?

Damn right I can.

The Speed Technology Permits Still Eludes Many…

National Express, Inc. ORDER SHIP NOTIFICATION

Dear Lauren,

Your order placed on our website chopwizard.com
has shipped from our warehouse on: 08/22/2006.

Order Number: 12****76
Order Date: 8/1/2006 2:54:36 PM

Your order was shipped via US Mail and there is no tracking service provided. Please allow 7-10 mailing days for delivery. If you need assistance we ask that you please contact our Fulfillment Warehouse at 800-554-****.
Thank you for the opportunity to serve you.


Yes. I ordered something that I saw on an infomercial, and, yes, it’s totally sweet. So there. I saw the infomercial at my parents house before leaving for Lexington to visit my relatives. Lo and behold, my cousin happened to have a similar, older version of the same chopper I’d seen on TV, and I was amazed at the ease with which she was able to create perfectly diced tomatoes, cucumbers, and the like.

I just don’t understand why, given that I placed the order ONLINE, it took so incredibly long to ship. What, do small gnomes have to assemble each chop wizard? Scary. Gnomes. They must’ve eaten the tracking numbers, too.