Well-behaved* women seldom make history.”
—Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
*What I find humorous is that folks will like, favourite, re-tweet, & otherwise share this sentiment with ringing endorsements, then they’ll abruptly unfollow/defriend me when I misbehave.
Ah, Alanis, that is what we accurately deem ‘ironic.’
I’m grateful for 81 days of continuous sobriety. I’m grateful that it’s been 112 days since I last took an antidepressant or mood stabiliser AND that my depression has finally lifted. More than anything, right now I’m grateful for the wonderful challenges and amazing difficulties that I’ve been through and am presently in the midst of navigating. It may sound strange to be thankful for hard times, and I was a bit surprised when the words, “thank you for my difficulties” came across my tongue in prayer last week, but I’m grateful for this gratitude.
It’s through these difficulties that I grow. It’s the financial challenges that I’m struggling with right now that humble me and force me to reach out and say, “I need help.” Even in the middle of the storm, even with everything seemingly falling apart all around me, I’ve remained centred. That’s all faith. That’s all God. That’s all a Power greater than myself. Through this and my connection with my Higher Power, I’ve found stores of strength and grace that I never thought myself possible of wielding. I’ve encountered this gorgeous warrior of a woman — and she’s me! I’m not just becoming great; I am great… provided that I stay deeply connected to the Power that fuels me.
I’m grateful for the Hell I’ve endured. I’m open to the lessons I’ve yet to learn. I’m on fire and excited about life. Let’s get to it!