Tag Archives: life

Gratitude

I’m grateful for 81 days of continuous sobriety. I’m grateful that it’s been 112 days since I last took an antidepressant or mood stabiliser AND that my depression has finally lifted. More than anything, right now I’m grateful for the wonderful challenges and amazing difficulties that I’ve been through and am presently in the midst of navigating. It may sound strange to be thankful for hard times, and I was a bit surprised when the words, “thank you for my difficulties” came across my tongue in prayer last week, but I’m grateful for this gratitude.

It’s through these difficulties that I grow. It’s the financial challenges that I’m struggling with right now that humble me and force me to reach out and say, “I need help.”  Even in the middle of the storm, even with everything seemingly falling apart all around me, I’ve remained centred. That’s all faith. That’s all God. That’s all a Power greater than myself. Through this and my connection with my Higher Power, I’ve found stores of strength and grace that I never thought myself possible of wielding. I’ve encountered this gorgeous warrior of a woman — and she’s me! I’m not just becoming great; I am great… provided that I stay deeply connected to the Power that fuels me.

I’m grateful for the Hell I’ve endured. I’m open to the lessons I’ve yet to learn. I’m on fire and excited about life. Let’s get to it!

Who is the Fool?

You Don’t Understand Me

Who is the fool, the fool, the fool that you are fooling?

Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me. Fool me three times? Fool, please. I’m not buying what you’re selling.

The only way I’ve found to ensure that I consistently take multi-vitamins and supplements is to buy them as gummies. Further evidence of my refusal to grow up— which, by the way, is grossly overrated.

I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.”

—Henry Rollins

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, ‘Why me?’

Then a voice answers, ‘Nothing personal; your name just happened to come up.'”

—Charles M. Schulz

 

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone— even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.”

Big Book p. 84

Life is Funny. Laugh!

You’ve gotta be able to find the humour in even your most embarrassingly, stupendously erratic past behaviours and mistakes. For one, it’s cathartic. Even better, it takes the sting out of the lashings that come from the dastardly evil inner critic. I dunno about you, but (one of) my inner voice(s) can be a real cunt.

Oh, and it’s deeply rewarding if you’re able to recover gracefully and laugh even louder than all the assholes out there who will call you out on even the most mundane bullshit and the miserable fucks who are constantly willing to take your inventory whilst never checking themselves.

Finding beauty in the dissonance.

I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.”

—Walt Whitman

The meditation on death is the meditation on life itself. When the cloud is about to be transformed into rain, it does not panic like us. Knowing that being a cloud is a wonderful thing, the cloud is also aware of the fact that becoming rain is another wonderful thing. So, when the moment comes for the cloud to become rain, it will sing happily at becoming drops of water falling on the vegetation, becoming part of the river, penetrating into the earth, and becoming a source of life for many other kinds of beings. It is a very beautiful adventure also. And then, sometime later on, it may resume the form of another cloud. No fear.”

—Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Mindful Living

Breathing in I see myself as a mountain. Breathing out I feel solid. From time to time a very strong emotion overwhelms us. That emotion can be anger or despair or fear, and when we are overwhelmed by a strong emotion, we feel that we are very vulnerable—we may die. This is too bad because we are more than our emotion. We are more solid than we may think, and, therefore, practising being solid like a mountain is very helpful.”

—Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Mindful Living