Tag Archives: musing

Birthdays Often Inspire Reflection…

4/21/12: Black Dog.

4/21/13: Black Dog.

4/21/14: Experienced the full spectrum of emotions. Engaged in meaningful conversations. Felt the love.

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So, what the hell, leap.”

–Cynthia Heimel

Life is hard. Bacon makes it better.

Well-behaved* women seldom make history.”

—Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

*What I find humorous is that folks will like, favourite, re-tweet, & otherwise share this sentiment with ringing endorsements, then they’ll abruptly unfollow/defriend me when I misbehave.

Ah, Alanis, that is what we accurately deem ‘ironic.’

Gratitude

I’m grateful for 81 days of continuous sobriety. I’m grateful that it’s been 112 days since I last took an antidepressant or mood stabiliser AND that my depression has finally lifted. More than anything, right now I’m grateful for the wonderful challenges and amazing difficulties that I’ve been through and am presently in the midst of navigating. It may sound strange to be thankful for hard times, and I was a bit surprised when the words, “thank you for my difficulties” came across my tongue in prayer last week, but I’m grateful for this gratitude.

It’s through these difficulties that I grow. It’s the financial challenges that I’m struggling with right now that humble me and force me to reach out and say, “I need help.”  Even in the middle of the storm, even with everything seemingly falling apart all around me, I’ve remained centred. That’s all faith. That’s all God. That’s all a Power greater than myself. Through this and my connection with my Higher Power, I’ve found stores of strength and grace that I never thought myself possible of wielding. I’ve encountered this gorgeous warrior of a woman — and she’s me! I’m not just becoming great; I am great… provided that I stay deeply connected to the Power that fuels me.

I’m grateful for the Hell I’ve endured. I’m open to the lessons I’ve yet to learn. I’m on fire and excited about life. Let’s get to it!

Who is the Fool?

You Don’t Understand Me

Who is the fool, the fool, the fool that you are fooling?

Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me. Fool me three times? Fool, please. I’m not buying what you’re selling.

I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.”

—Henry Rollins

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, ‘Why me?’

Then a voice answers, ‘Nothing personal; your name just happened to come up.'”

—Charles M. Schulz

 

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone— even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.”

Big Book p. 84

Life is Funny. Laugh!

You’ve gotta be able to find the humour in even your most embarrassingly, stupendously erratic past behaviours and mistakes. For one, it’s cathartic. Even better, it takes the sting out of the lashings that come from the dastardly evil inner critic. I dunno about you, but (one of) my inner voice(s) can be a real cunt.

Oh, and it’s deeply rewarding if you’re able to recover gracefully and laugh even louder than all the assholes out there who will call you out on even the most mundane bullshit and the miserable fucks who are constantly willing to take your inventory whilst never checking themselves.

Finding beauty in the dissonance.