Tag Archives: rants

Executive Dysfunction : Christmas Cards Edition

Thank you to everyone who sent me Christmas cards! I truly appreciate the effort you took to think of me and others at such a busy time of year.

I’ve never sent out Christmas cards, but this year was to be the exception. After stumbling across a set of Peanuts Christmas cards with Woodstock on every design, I was inspired to adopt the tradition, so I bought the set. I purchased reindeer stamps, despite having plenty of postage on hand. St. Jude’s Hospital sent me a set of snowmen address labels with a donation request that I pledged to honour once I got my first pay check. I got a new set of pens because I couldn’t possibly sign these cards with old ink. I went through my mother’s Rolodex to get the addresses that I didn’t have in my own book.

I had all the ingredients but didn’t manage to complete the recipe in time for Christmas. Sigh. Executive dysfunction in action.

Well-behaved* women seldom make history.”

—Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

*What I find humorous is that folks will like, favourite, re-tweet, & otherwise share this sentiment with ringing endorsements, then they’ll abruptly unfollow/defriend me when I misbehave.

Ah, Alanis, that is what we accurately deem ‘ironic.’

Who is the Fool?

You Don’t Understand Me

Who is the fool, the fool, the fool that you are fooling?

Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me. Fool me three times? Fool, please. I’m not buying what you’re selling.

No Longer ‘Prime’ Membership

I’m so done with Amazon Prime. In their continuing efforts to save money (and make more money, as corporations are actually legally bound to act in their own fiscal self-interest), Amazon’s packaging and shipping have gone down the toilet, at least in my experience. I’m OCD about my books. If I purchase a brand new book, it better arrive  without a crease or ding in it. Period. If you promise me 2-day shipping, then I better get my books on time as promised. This practice of transferring packages from UPS to USPS may save Amazon money on that transaction, but it’s losing loyal customers, such as myself.

I placed an order over the weekend for 3 books. It was split into 2 shipments, one of which arrived on time yesterday via UPS, albeit the book came in a barely padded envelope that looked like it’d been used as a football. The spiral-bound book inside was certainly worse for wear. Disappointing.

The second package was transferred from FedEx to USPS, who marked it as Delivered at 4:44PM. Was it delivered? Nope. How do I know? Well, I was home, for one, but my Postman doesn’t EVER even bother trying to deliver to my door. Anyhow, it also wasn’t in my mailbox. Nor was there a key for one of the larger parcel/overflow mailboxes. And, NOPE, there was not a notification letter in my mailbox indicating that an oversized package had been delivered to my leasing office. So, essentially, USPS LIED to me and to Amazon by reporting a package as delivered that was, in fact, not delivered. Their numbers don’t suffer, but I, the consumer, do.

I contacted Amazon, and their lack of alarm was very disconcerting. They treated this a commonplace, no-big-deal, be-patient scenario, which really frustrated me because I felt deceived and let down. If I pay for a service that’s meant to deliver my packages in 2-days, and, in fact, ⅓ of my order manages to make it on time whereas the other is deceptively labeled as having been delivered on time… and your response reveals this to be a typical occurrence, there’s something very wrong here.

Such a shame. I’ve had Amazon Prime for 5+ years. It’s hard to let go of a long-term relationship, but it becomes simple when you and your things are treated like crap.


Life is Funny. Laugh!

You’ve gotta be able to find the humour in even your most embarrassingly, stupendously erratic past behaviours and mistakes. For one, it’s cathartic. Even better, it takes the sting out of the lashings that come from the dastardly evil inner critic. I dunno about you, but (one of) my inner voice(s) can be a real cunt.

Oh, and it’s deeply rewarding if you’re able to recover gracefully and laugh even louder than all the assholes out there who will call you out on even the most mundane bullshit and the miserable fucks who are constantly willing to take your inventory whilst never checking themselves.

Finding beauty in the dissonance.

Simple Grammar Lesson for Today


Heavy Heart

I anticipated that I’d likely be hit by an emotional train as I face my shit and work through all the ghosts of the past that I otherwise tried to simply ignore. At least that’s how I’m making sense for myself why I’m all over the place emotionally.

It’s not easy being one’s own therapist, but I’m the only person willing to do the work and capable of doing the job. I couldn’t pay anyone enough money to take on the fucking enigma that is me without them throwing up their hands in defeat.

I could have done that; I contemplated it. But it fundamentally comes down to either taking my life or taking my case. I guess we’re all ultimately faced with that decision.


I’m Not a Bad Person; My Brain is Just Sick.

Mental illness is hard enough to navigate without tacking on the godawful stigma associated with being “mentally ill.” The brain, like any organ, gets sick at times, yet those of us who are unlucky enough to be plagued with such troubles are forced into deeper, darker recesses of shame and humiliation should we be brave enough to reach out and say that we need help. I still find it baffling that I’ve not received a single “Get Well Soon!” card/balloon/bouquet/whatever despite multiple hospitalizations and disability leave. Never have I felt so guilty, mortified, and alone simply because I’m sick.

What the Fuck, Rolling Stone?

After reading Rolling Stone’s ***1/2 star review of Consolers of the Lonely, The Raconteurs new album, I was driven by a force beyond myself to post thisblog entry. This review made me instantly exclaim– Fuck Rock Critics!! Then again, this review is from Rolling Stone, a magazine to which I have a lifetime subscription and a consistent, love-hate relationship. I mean, they gave Britney Spears’s Blackout the same ***1/2 rating. I shit you not. How can I take anything they publish seriously?

Then again, I’ve never let a critic dissuade me from listening to anything. I can’t say the same for the masses. I don’t even feel the review itself deserves a proper dissemination, but I will post the quote that baffled me… “Overall, Consolers feels less like a project and more like a jam session.” I can’t fathom how, after listening to the entire album, one could conclude that. From that, one could conclude that Britney’s overproduced and vapid album is commensurate with a “jam session”? Logic does not follow into these depths, and nor do I.

Listen. Learn. Think. Evolve.

A (Mild) Tirade Against Blockbuster Online

Aka “I can’t believe that I actually expected a REAL resolution to my customer service inquiry.”

Below you’ll find the discussion thread that took place between myself and a customer service rep for Blockbuster Online as to why I’m receiving my DVD
selections in wht appears to be a random order. I’ve had the same 15 DVDs at the top of my queue for at least a month, yet I keep receiving DVDs further down in my list because the ones I want are somehow constantly unavailable. I’d hoped to hear that perhaps there’s a DVD shortage, or one of the Blockbuster warehouses burned to the ground, or even some explanation or consolation for my not receiving the DVD titles I’m actually interested in at the time. Unfortunately, I got the answer I should’ve expected– a generic explanation of availability that I’d already found on the site. I’m a step away from switching to Netflix. Thoughts?

I’ll even show you the top of my queue so you can provide relevant insight. The titles don’t seem all that rare, special, or popular to me… but maybe I am out of touch. Please inform me! These are the top 15 titles currently in my queue (click for larger image):

P.S. I just received a link for a customer satisfaction survey. Not sure how much it will help, but I did complete the survey, and I was able to express my lack of satisfaction with the answer I received.

Subject: DVD availability

Customer (Lauren) 08/23/2007 09:40 AM
I’ve enjoyed Blockbuster Online/All Access for some time now, and it’s only recently that I’ve considered changing to an alternative online DVD service. The movies in the top 15 or so of my queue seem to be consistently unavailable, and I never quite know which DVD will ship next. I started one season of a TV series, only to realize that I won’t be able to resume watching until the next DVD ships after an indeterminate wait. A friend who has Netflix is able to order all of the DVDs in the top 15 of my queue without a wait. Within the past couple weeks, my friend has added and received the same DVDs that I have been waiting on for some time.

I’m growing concerned, as this problem seems to be getting more serious, at least for the DVD titles that I wish to watch. Should I reorganize my queue knowing that I’ll probably not get the movies at the top of my queue first? I’ve loved my Blockbuster Online/All Access service, but the ability to trade in DVDs at the store is becoming less appealing as the DVDs I actually WANT to watch are increasingly and annoyingly unavailable, at least without a significant delay.

Could you help me to understand what is happening? As I’ve said, I really like my service, but I will switch to Netflix if that means getting the movies I want to watch IN THE ORDER I wish to watch them.



Response (Jonathan, Blockbuster Online Customer Care) 08/23/2007 11:01 AM
Hello Lauren,

Thanks for contacting BLOCKBUSTER Online Customer Care.

I’m sorry to hear we haven’t shipped the DVD you’ve requested. Whenever a rental slot is open, we review the first listing in your queue to determine whether or not it can be shipped from your closest distribution center. If the movie is not available at this center, the system automatically searches for it at other shipping centers that are a bit farther away. If your top queue selections fall outside of an acceptable shipping window, we will send another DVD that falls lower in the queue but will arrive faster. This process helps you receive more titles each month which gives you the most for your money, and helps reduce or eliminate any service delays. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.

Always here to help,

Customer Care Associate