Mental illness is hard enough to navigate without tacking on the godawful stigma associated with being “mentally ill.” The brain, like any organ, gets sick at times, yet those of us who are unlucky enough to be plagued with such troubles are forced into deeper, darker recesses of shame and humiliation should we be brave enough to reach out and say that we need help. I still find it baffling that I’ve not received a single “Get Well Soon!” card/balloon/bouquet/whatever despite multiple hospitalizations and disability leave. Never have I felt so guilty, mortified, and alone simply because I’m sick.
Okay, so I am sick again. I’m starting to think I have allergies, mostly because this time I don’t feel bad or have a fever. However, I am congested, my nose is running, and I am coughing a lot. I am currently very medicated on OTC remedies, and I am watching The 100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock on VH1. It’s pretty sweet. I love Vh1. It’s great background noise because it usually is playing some kind of countdown or list of something… like, I Love the [insert decade name here] shows. Those rule. Please excuse my scattered thoughts here, as I have taken these OTC cold meds. So I’m a little spacey this evening. Ah, always good to document an altered state. Here’s one for the books. I’ll go babble to my offline journal… No need to go on and on here.
This weekend. What the hell was that? Atlanta on Wed.: Sunny and mild. Atlanta on Fri.: Sleet, freezing rain, temps below freezing. And where was I? Well, after work on Friday I went to Meehan’s Ale House to bid farewell to Dave, who left the company I work for to pursue cooler things. I’m gonna miss you, Dave (but rock the new job)!!! I stayed there for a few hours (and a few drinks, plus fish and chips, of course). Anyhow I went to hang out with my friend Heather, her hubby, and their ADORABLE dog Leo. What do you know? Ice storm 2005 decides to freeze Atlanta. I talked to my dad about driving to Alpharetta, because I had to work at Apple (my last day) on Sat. He advised me to not drive, then my mom called back and told me flat out that I wasn’t driving. Needless to say, I was not able to work my last day at Apple, which kinda sucked, but stuff happens. On the plus side, I got to hang out with Heather a lot, which ruled.
What did not rule was busting my ass on the ice Sunday morning. Heather and I took Leo for his AM walk, and I was taking it easy… when all of the sudden the sidewalk came up out from under my feet… and Heather tells me I caught air. Luckily, I ended up with a hurt (possibly sprained wrist) and some sore spots. Man, did that suck.
Okay, we’ve got INJURY. Let’s toss on the INSULT, for good measure. I had started feeling congested on Sat., and by Sunday morning I was coughing and my chest hurt. When I left Heather’s place late afternoon on Sunday, I started feeling like hell. Like serious hell. Like someone had taken a blunt object and hurled it repeatedly into my sinuses and chest. Like I may fall over just walking. HOWEVER, I somehow managed to make it to PetSmart for cat food. Target was closer than the grocery store, so I figured I could get cold meds, Icy Hot pads, an ace bandage, and some other things I needed there. I got a lot, but, nooooo, I wanted to pack my lunch for work. So I went to Publix where I stood in line at the deli, wanting to fall over from the weight of congestion in my head. But no, I got my damned lunch meat and other assorted goodies. And I went home.
I am certainly glad that I can laugh at myself because it gets better. Okay, so my left arm is gimp from my rendition of an idiot flying in the air and landing on ice. Fine. I have bandages and icy hot patches. And about a zillion other bags in my trunk. I hadn’t considered how I’d get them inside. Well. I got creative. I actually got a backpack to carry a 20 lb. bag of cat food. The rest, I just took one arm load at a time. Still, it just felt like things kept sucking.
Oh, and yes, they still suck. I am sick as hell. I missed work today because I feel like hell, and I am missing work tomorrow. Heather didn’t even recognize me when I answered my cell phone. Fortunately, I got a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow morning. Then perhaps I can stop taking all this tylenol and advil cold medication that doesn’t really help but just makes me feel spaced out so that I cannot rest… thus, I ramble on and on in my blog. Maybe.